some facts they dont teach you about chuck norris in school

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
4. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
6. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
7. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
8. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
9. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
10. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
11. In 1959 Stephen Hawking became the first and only person to outsmart Chuck Norris. He learned his lesson.
12. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
13. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
14. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian.
15. Chuck Norris' sidekick on Walker Texas Ranger isn't black, he's bruised.
16. Chuck Norris circumcised himself. At birth. With his bare hands.
17. When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
18. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
19. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
20. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
21. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
22. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
23. Chuck Norris trims his beard with a chainsaw.
24. Chuck Norris was originally cast as Ra’s Al Ghul in Batman Begins. He was released from his contract after it became clear he was never going to let Batman win.
25. Whenever Chuck Norris's wife asks him nicely to do the dishes, he throws them in the garbage and tells her she looks fat.
26. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
27. Chuck Norris found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq by looking in a mirror.
28. The average life expectancy for a paratrooper in Vietnam was 17 seconds. The average life expectancy after calling Chuck Norris "Chucky" to his face is -7 seconds.
29. Chuck Norris saw evil, spoke evil, and heard evil. Then he gave evil a sharp roundhouse kick to the head.
30. Chuck Norris is, in fact, a species. The rest of his kind died out with the dinosaurs.
31. Chuck Norris has a sweet tooth. For blood.

32. Chuck Norris broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the special olympics.

some facts about vin diesel

1. If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
2. When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
3. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
4. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
5. Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
6. Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
7. You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
8. Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
9. Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
10. Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
11. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.
12. Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
13. When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
14. Vin Diesel defied MC Hammer and touched it.
15. Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

16. The Red Sea is not actually a sea. It is the single drop of sweat shed by Vin Diesel after he killed the Egyptian death god Osiris.

Who can defeat the other? vin or norris?

u choose